My last day of Pregnancy with Alistair!

 

The day has finally come. Today is my last day of pregnancy! 

I have very mixed emotions about it all. On the plus side, I am glad I will be able to meet my baby boy, and start my new life as a mom of two. I'm excited to see my parents and have their help(and of course my mom's cooking!). But I am not sure I am ready for more sleepless nights, breastfeeding, having a c section, having a hard time to do anything besides suriving the day, and of course I am sad about Elyse not being my one and only baby anymore. 

When Elyse was born, it was so life changing it took me months to catch on. This time around, although I feel like I have the advantage of knowing a little bit of what to expect, but doing it with 2 kids, while recovering from surgery is scary. Of course it was our choice to have more children and I always knew we would try for more, but now that the day is here, its surreal. 

Today is my last day with my little toddler being able to consume my world, she will have to share the spotlight after today! I will miss us waking up late and cuddling in the morning, getting my coffee and her milk ready, and slowly starting our day. Last time was also very difficult because I didn't know any other moms at the and all my friends were working(and cole was working late hours). But this time all of my friends have had their first kid and are either staying at home or working a lot less. So I am hoping I don't get ppd quite as bad as last time!

Also Elyse is older and knows things like "get me a diaper" "throw this away", etc. :) so that will be helpful!

I still just can't believe the day is here and we made it this far! My C section is scheduled for tomorrow morning(July3). I didn't think I would make it this far at all. I thought I would have gone into labor like a month ago. But nope! Here I am, July 2nd and STILL pregnant! Amazing! I amd 38 weeks 6 days, and will be exactly 39 weeks when I get the c section. I will say, I am actually really sad about the C section. I know its the best thing in my situation and with my body, but knowing that I still don't know what a real contraction feels like or what going into labor is really like is sad. It is like a rite of passage for women with children that I am just missing. The only chance I have to go through it is if he happens to break my water today or start contractions today, OR if cole and I decide to go for a third child. Which, at this point, we are not leaning towards but are keeping the option open. 

Also, the c section. Scary. Although I have done it before, knowing that I have to lay on a table for about an hour being completely cut open is still mentally challenging. I am really not looking forward to it at all. I understand that its "not as painful" as vaginal birth, but it doesn't make it any easier. Seriously... cut open, guts on the table and you're awake, its not ok. Okay, maybe your guts aren't on the table(I dont know, I can't see) but still.... yuck. 

I'm hoping that since I am expecting things to get really hard(but of course happy to meet the baby) maybe it won't be as bad as I think!?

I guess we'll find out!!! :)

I've been really addicted to reading the WTE(what to expect) forums and on rare occasion I will reply to some posts. But those women are interesting!! They used to be so mean to each other, and now that it has been pointed out, the boards are a little nicer! Or the mean women gave birth and aren't as active anymore. either way, those girls are funny. They try some of the craziest things to try to go into labor!! I personally don't have the energy to do more than what I am doing haha Unfortunately it doesn't seem like many of the techniques have worked yet :/